Yes, it’s one of these posts, but hopefully this will be slightly deeper, I aim to provide an explanation of the why, rather than just listing them. I can’t guarantee that they’ll all be deep and meaningful, but well… let’s see at the end, shall we?
- I want to travel, backpack-style around Australia / New Zealand. Backpack style travelling is something I’ve always wanted to do, I nearly took a gap year before Uni, but the advice of my college was, in a word, don’t. I’m already slightly regretting it, as I can see the time-constraints of having a real job fast approaching, but perhaps I’ll do it when I graduate. Just me, and a backpack of essentials – although I’d take my laptop and iPod (Couldn’t live without those). I’d also rather not have to work in this time – more time for seeing the amazing nature of said countries.
- A decent job with not-excessive hours, but with decent pay. I’ll admit it. I want job security. I want to be able to buy the gadgets I want, without having to think about money often. Yet I want plenty of free-time as well. The 9.30-5.30 I’m working at the moment is nice, but by the end of the week I’m feeling zonked, so I can’t be bothered to do anything at the weekend.
- Found a successful startup. Yes, this is basically mutually-exclusive with #2. I don’t care. The flexibility and freedom that being a startup founder gets you is amazing. Sure the money is unreliable, but I’d really like to give it a try. Unfortunately, I have no ideas.
- Find that certain someone. It won’t happen, but I’m a romantic. Sue me. Kids? Possibly – depends on what makes our relationship tick.
- Teach. I want to teach kids. Kids are the future, and… yeah, I’m not sure where I’m going with that. But anyway, I would love to teach to Primary School aged children. Any subject (but not English). The problem is that the teaching structure imposed [in state schools] at the moment isn’t helping most children, but that’s a separate blog post.
- Visit several places in Britain. Lake District, Stonehenge, the various Moors and National Parks, the various Forests. Probably a huge number of others that I’ve forgotten, but basically anywhere that is beautiful nature.
- Become a Psychiatrist. Seriously. It’s a pet passion of mine, psychiatry and psychology. I’d love to learn more, and actually try and hep people with it. And yes, I realise that Freud is outdated (despite the huge number of jokes I make about his ideas).
- Be a Politician. No, not a politician; they’re so hampered by their party and the mass media that there is really no chance of a huge shift in the status quo. Ok, fine a benevolent leader. I’d overhaul the education sector. Again though, this is a topic for another post. Oh, and I’d get rid of democracy as we know it – Plato was right in that regard
- Write a book. Yes, I know it’s cliched. But I just have never had the drive to write. In order to write a book you have to write. And though I enjoy writing, I just never seem to finish anything. (If you could see the number of draft posts hidden on this site you’d be amazed). I don’t know what it would be about, but it would probably straggle the lines of Fantasy, Crime, and… Controversial. [Is that even a genre? I know what I mean, but not how to say it].
- Make a scientific breakthrough. It’s not going to happen. But still, I’d like to be able to say that I helped [cure cancer/create sentient life/Find proof for a GUT].
- Donate meaningful amounts to charity. I don’t mean the 50p a day kind of donations. I mean sizeable donations of several thousand.
- Own a country house, with a huge library. Does this one need explaining?
- Confess. I’ve done things that I’m not proud of, I would love to get some kind of forgiveness for them. But I know that’s not how the world works.
- Go into Space. The description of the moon’s surface when it was landed on for the first time, and the first ever pictures beamed back to Earth from there. Who wouldn’t love to experience that?
- Not lay awake at night thinking, regretting. I hardly ever drop straight off to sleep – I have too many things that come to the surface when I just lay there trying to sleep.
- Die naturally, when I’m old. This is one of the ones that I’m most scared of never getting to do. Early death is something that I fear greatly. Sometimes when my mind wanders I come up with scenarios of how I could die within the next 5 minutes. My mind is not always a happy place.
- Confess (Part 2). A different kind of confession, this time letting people know what they mean to me. It’s something that I find hard to express, and I never feel like I’ve done it adequately. I’m always scared that I’ll die, and I won’t be able to tell people what they mean to me. That they won’t know. They probably don’t even know right now.
- Tell people about me. I would love to be able to let people know all parts of me. I’m not a simple person – no-one is. There is more to me than I can ever express, as there is for most people. This is linked very closely with the previous item. Although I rarely show it most of the time, there are a huge range of thoughts, feelings and emotions that I would share with my closest friends; but even if I had the means, I still wouldn’t. Because that is who I am.
I think that is all for tonight. It’s now 1am, and this post has taken a very depressing turn that I never meant it to. Just one more thing though. Being able to express oneself is important, but what is equally important is that someone will hear your expression and not judge you. Because who you are cannot change.